more

i need and want to blog more.

bulletpoints

i am training on yet another new position here at good ol custom gear. but im keeping my old one. so now i have two jobs. and major job security. turns out they freakin love me here.

i promptly informed them that a year from now, im leaving to get married and go back to school :-)

the end is near.

i never really liked the girl who's training me to begin with. now i really can't stand her.

this week seems loooooong.

i am worried about my dear friend.

i am also worried about some of the projects joe wants to do around the house when i'm not there. i don't want to redo them.

my dad: hi, i'm andy gannon. my daughter is getting married, can you help?
wedding vendor: right this way, mr. gannon. whatever you need, mr. gannon. we love your show, mr. gannon. we can't stand aaron, however.

does anyone like that guy?

you all should borrow my dad when you wed. he's very handy.

we bought a brand new energy-efficient washer/dryer set. i love them. they're such a fun toy. and they have fun buttons that beep when you push them. not like, a crank and the sound of rushing water. they were expensive compared to the normal white, crappy ones. but i am pleased that we have invested in something like that. well, me. i invested. but the house is basically his.

my church is... in need of something... different. which i think is the slogan for heartland, so im wondering when theyre just gonna pack it in and suggest everyone convert.

nippons leftovers are really just as good as when youre there, but you don't smell like japanese food when you eat it.

morale around here could be better. some of this might be my fault. i dont like my job. i dont really care for my new one.

but hey... they're making me business cards!

everyone should shop at aldi. two bags of fresh produce = $14.00. amazing.

joe and i are not ready for children.

i'm full. and supposed to be working. lunch isn't long enough anymore.

[insert more whining here]

house.

things are looking better. it still has been the most stressed i have ever been. the most aggravating part is that it started so smoothly. and its not like joe and i are going to default on our loan. we just wont. we dont do that. our credit scores are awesome. whatever... i think were actually moving now (fingers crossed) so... whatever. just... what a pain. you all have been warned.

and truly, i dont think i can even tell you what happened. i dont understand all that crap. just... buying houses is no fun. and despite not knowing what the hell im talking about, i get so upset that i become far less eloquent that i like to think i usually am, so no one understands what im saying/typing anyway.

akbfasgf;asbf fsjdhf;ejrbf

that basically sums it up...

resume is updated. i was basically just waiting for our loan to finally be approved to start actively pursuing jobs. well... i guess i need to wait until after closing, but... game on i guess. now to find a rockin job that i love, pays well, and has good benefits... should be a piece of cake :-)

or not.

picky-wick

anyone know why my new pic won't show up in thumbnail form on y'all's pages? or is it there, just not to me?

anyone?

also... well... excited! i'm decorating in my head. that place is gonna be fan-fuckin-tastic :-)

comeback

like i'm mickey rourke or something. no no no. just a neglectful blogger returning after a three month drought.

i got engaged since then. and my fiance and i are actively pursuing home-ownership. it's not like i had nothing to blog about. i'm just lazy and completely uninspired. like... when i'm happy i have nothing to write about. which i guess explains why all great authors, artists, and musicians were crazy/depressed/psychotic/etc. not that i'm a great artist, but... i get it.

so, updates ~~~

engagement/wedding: jan 25, 2009. i come home from a volleyball match (we won) only to complain about how i tend to ruin things. i had just picked a fight after a perfectly lovely weekend and for no discernable reason and i was feeling miserable. so i was whining. my wonderful boyfriend calmed me down and decided it would be a good idea for me to check under the bed (sidenote: lately, i've been absurdly scared of basically everything... including mysteries under the bed). i thought this was a ridiculous plan. it was too early, everyone knows there is nothing scary under the bed until after 10 pm. he dragged me over and knelt down, i knelt with him. i thought we were checking together. silly, but cute. he pops back up with little black box in his hand (and tears in his eyes, but i'm not supposed to share that). then... we were engaged. that was a good night.

wedding plans are in the idea-gathering phase. we have a wedding party (yay, ladies! ha!), and a color (kelly green, what else), and a tentative date (labor day weekend 2010). but since it's so far away i can't get myself excited and am therefore only collecting pictures from magazines and clicking through theknot.com. although not as i often as i like, but it seems to make my work computer freeze and that's never a good thing. because then i can't get on facebook. and then what happens?!

house: i'm hesitant to say too much because i don't want to jinx it. we have put an offer in on one house, but it's bank-owned and, despite hearing that our offer looked good, approval can take 6 months. no thank you. the search continues... there are very viable possibilites. kelley is excited :-)

job: I HATE MY JOB. perhaps that's why the inspiration has come back. i never knew i could be this miserable 9 hours a day. there is so little 'scope for the imagination' here. and when i say so little, i mean, none. the only creative decisions i get to make are which color marker to use for highlighting my ship list and labelling tags. and it smells... and the light gives me a headache... and the people... i used to like some of them. and truly, i still do. but i don't get to see any of them since i changed positions. i will never ever again accept a new position simply for the money. i hate it. and i hated the last job, but this one is worse. i work too fast, i'm too smart for it. which sounds terrible, and is probably terrible to think, but it's true. i use about 15% of my total brain power on this job. i can feel unused cells dying. and i have no creative outlet since i'm not doing starlight this summer (not a regret) but i feel like i have nothing to keep my creative juices flowing. so joe thinks i should write, but by the time i get home, i'm so drained from doing absolutely nothing that the last thing i want to do is think. and i truly believe that once we get a house i can decorate, and paint, and design, and cook in, and whatever, i will feel better. but will i even have the energy to tackle the projects i want when i get home? because i feel right now that there is no way. the problem starts and ends with the job. it has to go. now isn't the best time, what with a mortgage staring me in the face. but it absolutely has to go. so as soon as we close... well, i'm already looking. but not too actively, since the searching i do is while i'm here at work. but i'm creative, intelligent, and hyper-organized. i should be running a beading store or something, so i could be my own boss, lay everything out the way i want, create display pieces all day. i have accounting experience. this probably isn't the best time in my life, or in the world, to start a business tho. option 2 is going back to school to get my t-cert. this is very appealing. also, not very lucrative. but the research into both options has begun, and if anyone has any ideas or leads, i will entertain most anything.

choreography: my latest creative outlet was choreographing belvidere hs's footloose. and it was amazing. not the show, and probably not my choreogrpahy. but the experience... i loved it. i want to do it more. it was such a great little extra cash experience. and i just... loved it. creative passion flowing! what a revelation lately!!!

death: death insisted on touching my life recently and it was not welcome. and as someone with a pretty awesome case of anxiety... not cool, you know?

picture: i finally have a pic on this page! it thought you all would be impressed :-)

twilight.

i read it basically in one weekend. and even though i said i didn't want to spend money on them, i went and bought new moon and started that as well.

plus, joe wanted me to find a book for him in another vampire series (the one that awful true blood show is based on) so i spent some quality time at borders searching for the inevitable 'vampire' table. and there wasn't one! there was a twilight half-table. and that had tshirts, and lacked whatever the third book is (eclipse?). strange indeed. also that last one isn't in paperback that i could find, and im certainly not buying any of these in hardcover, so just fyi... i may need a loaner in a week or two.

btw, how anna paquin won a golden globe for true blood is beyond me. thats a horrible show. its like 'heroes' bad. or worse, 'knight rider' bad. the new one. with the guy who used to be on all my children and billy from bsg. its really really terrible.

and her dress wasn't even pretty. so there.

lunch.

i think a lunchtime blog might become routine with me. or middle of the afternoon. or morning. i hated this job at first because it kept me so busy, but now that i have the hang of it, im just as bored as i was before. only now, i have a higher chance of getting caught slacking off because people come into my office more.

with the higher risk comes a higher salary, so i suppose its worth it.

next week im dogsitting while my parents are on their cruise. i HATE spending a night alone anywhere. over the past year, ive become more than a little anxious and paranoid, and when im alone in the apartment, i cant sleep. one friday night i drove up to my parents' house at 1 am because joe was gone and i couldnt sleep. its pathetic. i make joe check under the bed at night. i check the space between the furnace and the wall in our laundry room before i take out my contacts. the closet in the extra room. behind the shower curtain every time i go to pee. paranoia. and next week i get to deal with a whole huge house.

needless to say you can probably expect some late-night blogging next week.

i will have a dog. a dog who barks at strange things. he cant protect me in the least, but he can warn me. thats something. and ill have sleeping pills. lots of them, most likely. but if any of the two people who read this blog want to volunteer to spend a night with me, i will willingly accept. i know i need to do this, and that once i get through next week, ill be proud of myself and feel much better about taking care of myself. but i dont see the need to spend EVERY night alone. one or two should cut it.

but... i may be super busy next week, so i wont be home til 930-10ish anyway. and i go to sleep around 10 every night, so whats the point of coming up just to sleep? i would feel pretty stupid asking my friends to do that. i already feel stupid about all this.

i dont know yet how busy ill be. but i hope to be busy. more on that later i guess.

ok, i feel rediculous. and i could really use a napkin for the pizza im eating, so i guess im out.